How to Help a Caregiver
For the Friend of a Caregiver:
As a friend of a caregiver, you may sometimes feel helpless. However,
there are many ways that you can take action and help. The list
below will give you some helpful hints.
For the Caregiver:
As a caregiver, you probably have many friends and family members
who want to help, but they are not sure what they should do. Provide
them with the list of suggestions below.
As the friend of a caregiver, what can you
do to help?
Things to DO:
• DO offer to help. But instead of just letting your
friend know that you are there to help, offer
concrete assistance, such as cooking meals for your
friend’s family, picking up their kids from school or taking
them to practices, picking up prescriptions
or driving the loved one to doctor appointments.
• DO offer to spend time with the patient so your friend
can spend some time alone to take care of her/himself.
• DO plan a night of fun for your friend, maybe make dinner
plans with a close group of friends, or go to
a funny movie or comedy club.
• DO understand that strong feelings and thoughts are appropriate
for what your friend is going through. Show
that you are willing to listen without judging.
• DO offer to take a yoga class with your friend or offer
to go to a spa together and get a massage.
Things NOT to do:
• DO NOT always talk about medical related issues with your
friend. It can help your friend to hear about
other things.
• DO NOT share your own personal stories of people you know
who have had cancer and what they did for their
cancer, unless your friend asks for that information.
• DO NOT hide or shy away from your friend. Even though
it is difficult to find the “right words
to say”, just letting your friend know that you are there
to listen and that your are thinking of them can be enough.
• DO NOT make light of your friend’s worries and concerns.
This is often done in a positive, loving attempt
to reassure someone, but it can be received
as being insensitive.
• DO NOT offer conclusions about the “meaning”
of their experience. Although this is done with
only good intentions, this can sometimes lead
to individuals being less open to communicating.
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